Mistress vs. Madam — What's the Difference?
Edited by Tayyaba Rehman — By Fiza Rafique — Updated on November 6, 2023
Mistress refers to a woman in a position of authority or a man's extramarital partner, while madam is a polite form of address for a woman or a brothel keeper.
Difference Between Mistress and Madam
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Key Differences
Mistress has historically signified a woman with authority, skill, or ownership, but it can also refer to a woman having an affair with a married man. The term madam, conversely, is a respectful title used to address or refer to a woman, equivalent to 'sir' for men. However, in some contexts, 'madam' can also mean the female manager of a brothel.
When addressing a woman without using her name, "madam" is the polite form to use, especially in a formal context or in the service industry. In contrast, the term "mistress" has evolved and can carry negative connotations when used to describe a woman as the female counterpart in an illicit romantic relationship.
Madam serves as a formal address in contemporary settings, often in a business or hospitality environment. Mistress, on the other hand, could denote a woman who is in charge of a household or apprentices, though this usage is now archaic.
While "madam" is used in polite or formal conversation to show respect, "mistress" has also been used historically to refer to a woman of high social rank, especially one who is head of a household or establishment. Yet, in modern usage, being a "mistress" is commonly associated with being the female partner in an extramarital affair.
Comparison Chart
Definition
A woman with authority or a lover
A respectful address or a brothel manager
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Usage Context
Ownership, skill, or affair
Formal address or business role
Connotation
Can be negative or archaic
Respectful or professional
Relationship
Personal or illicit
Professional or formal
Historical Context
Lady of the house or governess
Madam as title for brothel keeper
Compare with Definitions
Mistress
A term for a woman in a position of authority in a specific context.
The mistress of ceremonies kept the event running smoothly.
Madam
Used in direct address in service industries.
Your table is ready, madam.
Mistress
A woman who has a continuing sexual relationship with a man who is married to someone else.
Madam
A formal title used when addressing a woman.
Excuse me, madam, you've dropped your glove.
Mistress
A woman in a position of authority, control, or ownership, as the head of a household
"Thirteen years had seen her mistress of Kellynch Hall" (Jane Austen).
Madam
A title used before a surname to address or refer to a woman in a position of authority.
Madam President, the conference is about to commence.
Mistress
A woman who owns or keeps an animal
A cat sitting in its mistress's lap.
Madam
The female proprietor of a brothel.
The madam ran a discreet business on the outskirts of the city.
Mistress
A woman who owns a slave.
Madam
Madam (), or madame ( or ), is a polite and formal form of address for women, often contracted to ma'am (pronounced in American English and in British English). The term derives from the French madame (French pronunciation: [maˈdam]); in French, ma dame literally means "my lady".
Mistress
A woman with ultimate control over something
The mistress of her own mind.
Madam
Pl. Mes·dames (mā-dăm, -däm) Used formerly as a courtesy title before a woman's given name but now used only before a surname or title indicating rank or office
Madam Ambassador.
Mistress
A nation or country that has supremacy over others
Great Britain, once the mistress of the seas.
Madam
Used as a salutation in a letter
Dear Madam or Sir.
Mistress
Something personified as female that directs or reigns
"my mistress ... the open road" (Robert Louis Stevenson).
Madam
Madam Used as a form of polite address for a woman
Right this way, madam.
Mistress
A woman who has mastered a skill or branch of learning
A mistress of the culinary art.
Madam
Madam The mistress of a household.
Mistress
Mistress Used formerly as a courtesy title when speaking to or of a woman.
Madam
Madam A woman who manages a brothel.
Mistress
Chiefly British A woman schoolteacher.
Madam
A polite form of address for a woman or lady.
Mrs Grey wondered if the outfit she was trying on made her look fat. The sales assistant just said, “It suits you, madam”.
Later, Mrs Grey was sitting in her favourite tea shop. “Would madam like the usual cream cakes and patisserie with her tea?” the waitress asked.
Mistress
A woman, specifically one with great control, authority or ownership
Male equivalent: master
She was the mistress of the estate-mansion, and owned the horses.
Madam
The mistress of a household.
Mistress
A female teacher
Male equivalent: master
Games mistress
Madam
(colloquial) A conceited or quarrelsome girl.
Selina kept pushing and shoving during musical chairs. The nursery school teacher said she was a bad-tempered little madam.
Mistress
The other woman in an extramarital relationship, generally including sexual relations
Madam
(slang) A woman who runs a brothel, particularly one that specializes in finding prostitutes for rich and important clients.
After she grew too old to work as a prostitute, she became a madam.
Mistress
A dominatrix
Male equivalent: master
Madam
An irritable, conceited, or contemptous woman. (used as a general term of abuse).
Mistress
A woman well skilled in anything, or having the mastery over it
Madam
(transitive) To address as "madam".
Mistress
A woman regarded with love and devotion; a sweetheart
Madam
A gentlewoman; - an appellation or courteous form of address given to a lady, especially an elderly or a married lady; - much used in the address, at the beginning of a letter, to a woman. The corresponding word in addressing a man is Sir; often abbreviated ma'am when used as a term of address.
Mistress
(Scotland) A married woman; a wife
Madam
The woman who is in charge of a household.
Mistress
(obsolete) The jack in the game of bowls
Madam
The woman who is in charge of a brothel.
Mistress
A female companion to a master a man with control, authority or ownership
Madam
A woman of refinement;
A chauffeur opened the door of the limousine for the grand lady
Mistress
Female equivalent of master
Madam
A woman who runs a house of prostitution
Mistress
Female equivalent of mister
Madam
A respectful form of address for a woman, especially an older one.
Would you like some assistance, madam?
Mistress
Of a woman: to master; to learn or develop to a high degree of proficiency.
Mistress
(intransitive) To act or take the role of a mistress.
Mistress
A woman having power, authority, or ownership; a woman who exercises authority, is chief, etc.; the female head of a family, a school, etc.
The late queen's gentlewoman! a knight's daughter!To be her mistress' mistress!
Mistress
A woman well skilled in anything, or having the mastery over it.
A letter desires all young wives to make themselves mistresses of Wingate's Arithmetic.
Mistress
A woman regarded with love and devotion; she who has command over one's heart; a beloved object; a sweetheart.
Mistress
A woman filling the place, but without the rights, of a wife; a woman having an ongoing usually exclusive sexual relationship with a man, who may provide her with financial support in return; a concubine; a loose woman with whom one consorts habitually; as, both his wife and his mistress attended his funeral.
Mistress
A title of courtesy formerly prefixed to the name of a woman, married or unmarried, but now superseded by the contracted forms, Mrs., for a married, and Miss, for an unmarried, woman.
Now Mistress Gilpin (careful soul).
Mistress
A married woman; a wife.
Several of the neighboring mistresses had assembled to witness the event of this memorable evening.
Mistress
The old name of the jack at bowls.
Mistress
To wait upon a mistress; to be courting.
Mistress
An adulterous woman; a woman who has an ongoing extramarital sexual relationship with a man
Mistress
A woman schoolteacher (especially one regarded as strict)
Mistress
A woman master who directs the work of others
Mistress
A woman with authority over servants or employees.
The mistress of the estate managed all household affairs efficiently.
Mistress
A woman in a long-term extramarital relationship with a man.
He had kept his mistress in a separate apartment for years.
Mistress
A woman skilled in a particular subject or activity.
She was a mistress of classical piano, captivating audiences everywhere.
Mistress
A female head of a household.
As the mistress of the house, she hosted lavish parties.
Common Curiosities
What is the appropriate setting to call someone madam?
Formal, professional, or service settings are appropriate for using "madam."
Can the term mistress be considered offensive?
Yes, it can be offensive when referring to a woman as a man's lover outside marriage.
What is the male equivalent of a mistress?
The male equivalent of a mistress, in the sense of a lover, is often termed as "lover" or "paramour."
Can you call any woman madam?
While it can be used for any woman, it is most respectful for those of perceived seniority or authority.
What is a mistress?
A mistress is either a woman with power and authority or someone's extramarital romantic partner.
Does mistress have a modern professional use?
Its use is now mostly historical or scandal-related, rather than professional.
Is madam still commonly used today?
Yes, madam is still used, especially in formal and service-oriented interactions.
How do you properly use the term madam?
"Madam" is used as a polite form of address to a woman or to refer to a female owner of a brothel.
Is it appropriate to use mistress to describe a businesswoman?
No, modern usage would prefer "businesswoman" or "professional."
Is mistress used in legal terms?
Not typically; it's more used in social and personal contexts.
Is there a modern equivalent for mistress in a non-scandalous sense?
"Lady" or "manageress" could be considered modern equivalents.
Can madam be used for young women?
It's less common but can be used as a sign of respect regardless of age.
How does the meaning of mistress vary by context?
It varies from a woman in authority to a secret lover, depending on context.
Does madam imply marital status?
No, madam does not imply whether a woman is married or not.
Is madam a term of high respect?
Yes, when used correctly, madam is a term of high respect.
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Written by
Fiza RafiqueFiza Rafique is a skilled content writer at AskDifference.com, where she meticulously refines and enhances written pieces. Drawing from her vast editorial expertise, Fiza ensures clarity, accuracy, and precision in every article. Passionate about language, she continually seeks to elevate the quality of content for readers worldwide.
Edited by
Tayyaba RehmanTayyaba Rehman is a distinguished writer, currently serving as a primary contributor to askdifference.com. As a researcher in semantics and etymology, Tayyaba's passion for the complexity of languages and their distinctions has found a perfect home on the platform. Tayyaba delves into the intricacies of language, distinguishing between commonly confused words and phrases, thereby providing clarity for readers worldwide.
