Polite vs. Kind — What's the Difference?
By Tayyaba Rehman & Maham Liaqat — Updated on April 5, 2024
Polite refers to behavior that adheres to social norms and etiquette, while kind involves actions driven by genuine concern and empathy for others.
Difference Between Polite and Kind
Table of Contents
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Key Differences
Politeness is essentially about following social conventions and showing respect through manners, speech, and behavior deemed appropriate in society. It often involves using phrases like "please" and "thank you," respecting personal space, and adhering to etiquette. Kindness, on the other hand, goes beyond societal expectations to encompass actions and words motivated by a sincere desire to help, comfort, or support someone else, often without expectation of reciprocation.
While polite behavior can be taught as a set of rules and practices for interacting within a community or culture, kindness is more intrinsic, stemming from one's character and empathy towards others. Politeness can sometimes be superficial or performed out of obligation, whereas kindness is usually genuine and comes from a place of caring and compassion.
Politeness often operates within the framework of cultural norms and can vary significantly from one culture to another. What is considered polite in one culture might not be in another. Kindness, however, is universal in its understanding and appreciation, transcending cultural and social boundaries. An act of kindness is recognized and valued across different societies and communities.
In social interactions, politeness helps to maintain harmony and avoid conflict, serving as a lubricant for social gears. Kindness, while it also contributes to social harmony, tends to have a deeper impact, fostering strong bonds and a sense of community among people. It involves taking action to make a positive difference in someone's life, whether through a simple act of generosity, offering emotional support, or helping someone in need.
The distinction also extends to perception. Individuals are often judged by society based on their adherence to polite behavior, which can be seen as a reflection of upbringing and education. In contrast, acts of kindness can significantly enhance someone's reputation, as they reflect an individual's moral values and capacity for empathy.
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Comparison Chart
Definition
Adherence to social norms and etiquette in behavior.
Actions driven by genuine concern and empathy.
Origin
Taught as social conventions.
Stemming from one’s character and empathy.
Motivation
Obligation to societal norms.
Desire to help and support others.
Universality
Varies by culture.
Universal, transcends cultural boundaries.
Impact
Maintains social harmony.
Fosters strong bonds and community.
Perception
Reflects upbringing and education.
Reflects moral values and empathy.
Compare with Definitions
Polite
Can be formal and reserved.
Their polite conversation stuck to safe, general topics.
Kind
Builds and strengthens relationships.
Their kind words during a difficult time brought them closer.
Polite
Respects social norms of interaction.
She maintained a polite distance during the conversation.
Kind
Involves actions that show genuine care.
He stayed late to help his colleague meet the project deadline, a kind gesture.
Polite
Adhering to social etiquette and manners.
He was polite to the guests, ensuring everyone felt welcome.
Kind
Can involve emotional support.
Offering a listening ear to a friend in need is an act of kindness.
Polite
Involves using courteous phrases.
Using “please” and “thank you” is a sign of being polite.
Kind
Recognized universally as a positive trait.
His kindness to strangers was admired by everyone who knew him.
Polite
Often expected in professional and public settings.
The customer service representative was very polite despite the customer’s frustration.
Kind
Often motivated by altruism.
She volunteered at the shelter out of kindness and a desire to make a difference.
Polite
Marked by or showing consideration for others and observance of accepted social usage.
Kind
A group of people or things having similar characteristics
More data of this kind would be valuable
All kinds of music
Polite
Refined; elegant
Polite society.
Kind
Each of the elements (bread and wine) of the Eucharist
Communion in both kinds
Polite
Well-mannered, civilized.
It's not polite to use a mobile phone in a restaurant.
Kind
Having or showing a friendly, generous, and considerate nature
He was very kind to me
She was a good, kind woman
Polite
(obsolete) Smooth, polished, burnished.
Kind
Having or showing a friendly, generous, sympathetic, or warm-hearted nature.
Polite
To polish; to refine; to render polite.
Kind
Agreeable or beneficial
A dry climate kind to asthmatics.
Polite
Smooth; polished.
Rays of light falling on a polite surface.
Kind
A group of individuals or instances sharing common traits; a category or sort
Different kinds of furniture.
A new kind of politics.
Polite
Smooth and refined in behavior or manners; well bred; courteous; complaisant; obliging; civil.
He marries, bows at court, and grows polite.
Kind
A doubtful or borderline member of a given category
Fashioned a kind of shelter.
A kind of bluish color.
Polite
Characterized by refinement, or a high degree of finish; as, polite literature.
Kind
Underlying character as a determinant of the class to which a thing belongs; nature or essence.
Polite
To polish; to refine; to render polite.
Kind
The natural order or course of things; nature.
Polite
Showing regard for others in manners, speech, behavior, etc.
Kind
Manner or fashion.
Polite
Marked by refinement in taste and manners;
Cultivated speech
Cultured Bostonians
Cultured tastes
A genteel old lady
Polite society
Kind
Lineal ancestry or descent.
Polite
Not rude; marked by satisfactory (or especially minimal) adherence to social usages and sufficient but not noteworthy consideration for others;
Even if he didn't like them he should have been civil
Kind
Lineal ancestors or descendants considered as a group.
Kind
A type, race or category; a group of entities that have common characteristics such that they may be grouped together.
What kind of a person are you?
This is a strange kind of tobacco.
Kind
A makeshift or otherwise atypical specimen.
The opening served as a kind of window.
Kind
(archaic) One's inherent nature; character, natural disposition.
Kind
(archaic) Family, lineage.
Kind
(archaic) Manner.
Kind
Goods or services used as payment, as e.g. in barter.
Kind
Equivalent means used as response to an action.
I'll pay in kind for his insult.
Kind
(Christianity) Each of the two elements of the communion service, bread and wine.
Kind
Having a benevolent, courteous, friendly, generous, gentle, liberal, sympathetic, or warm-hearted nature or disposition, marked by consideration for – and service to – others.
Kind
Affectionate.
A kind man; a kind heart
Kind
Favorable.
Kind
Mild, gentle, forgiving
The years have been kind to Richard Gere; he ages well.
Kind
Gentle; tractable; easily governed.
A horse kind in harness
Kind
(obsolete) Characteristic of the species; belonging to one's nature; natural; native.
Kind
Characteristic of the species; belonging to one's nature; natural; native.
It becometh sweeter than it should be, and loseth the kind taste.
Kind
Having feelings befitting our common nature; congenial; sympathetic; as, a kind man; a kind heart.
Yet was he kind, or if severe in aught,The love he bore to learning was his fault.
Kind
Showing tenderness or goodness; disposed to do good and confer happiness; averse to hurting or paining; benevolent; benignant; gracious.
He is kind unto the unthankful and to evil.
O cruel Death, to those you take more kindThan to the wretched mortals left behind.
A fellow feeling makes one wondrous kind.
Kind
Proceeding from, or characterized by, goodness, gentleness, or benevolence; as, a kind act.
Kind
Gentle; tractable; easily governed; as, a horse kind in harness.
Kind
Nature; natural instinct or disposition.
He knew by kind and by no other lore.
Some of you, on pure instinct of nature,Are led by kind t'admire your fellow-creature.
Kind
Race; genus; species; generic class; as, in mankind or humankind.
Every kind of beasts, and of birds.
She follows the law of her kind.
Here to sow the seed of bread,That man and all the kinds be fed.
Kind
Sort; type; class; nature; style; character; fashion; manner; variety; description; as, there are several kinds of eloquence, of style, and of music; many kinds of government; various kinds of soil, etc.
How diversely Love doth his pageants play,And snows his power in variable kinds !
There is one kind of flesh of men, another flesh of beasts, another of fishes, and another of birds.
Diogenes was asked in a kind of scorn: What was the matter that philosophers haunted rich men, and not rich men philosophers?
Tax on tillage was often levied in kind upon corn.
Kind
To beget.
Kind
A category of things distinguished by some common characteristic or quality;
Sculpture is a form of art
What kinds of desserts are there?
Kind
Having or showing a tender and considerate and helpful nature; used especially of persons and their behavior;
Kind to sick patients
A kind master
Kind words showing understanding and sympathy
Thanked her for her kind letter
Kind
Liberal;
Kind words of praise
Kind
Conducive to comfort; beneficial;
The genial sunshine
A kind climate
Hot summer pavements are anything but kind to the feet
Kind
Expressing sympathy
Kind
Characterized by mercy, and compassion;
Compassionate toward disadvantaged people
Kind to animals
A humane judge
Kind
Agreeable;
A dry climate kind to asthmatics
Kind
Helpful to other people;
Helping an old lady with her bundles was his kind deed for the day
Kind
Tolerant and forgiving under provocation;
Our neighbor was very kind about the window our son broke
Kind
Showing consideration and anticipation of needs;
It was thoughtful of you to bring flowers
A neighbor showed thoughtful attention
Kind
Generously responsive;
Good-hearted but inept efforts to help
Take a kindly interest
A kindly gentleman
An openhearted gift to charity
Common Curiosities
Is it necessary to teach politeness and kindness?
Yes, both can and should be encouraged, as they play crucial roles in social interaction and cohesion.
How do actions of kindness affect the giver?
Acts of kindness can enhance the giver's sense of well-being and satisfaction, often referred to as the "helper's high."
How can one balance being polite and kind?
By combining adherence to social etiquette with genuine acts of empathy and concern, ensuring interactions are both respectful and heartfelt.
Can someone be polite but not kind?
Yes, it's possible to follow social manners superficially without genuine empathy or concern for others.
Is kindness more important than politeness?
While both are valuable, kindness often has a deeper, more lasting impact because it's driven by genuine concern.
How do cultural differences affect perceptions of politeness and kindness?
Cultural norms heavily influence what's considered polite, while kindness is generally universally appreciated.
Why is kindness considered a universal value?
Kindness reflects a fundamental aspect of human empathy and concern for others, which transcends cultural boundaries.
Can a small act of kindness make a big difference?
Yes, even minor gestures can have a significant positive impact on someone's life and well-being.
Why might someone prioritize politeness over kindness?
In formal or unfamiliar settings, people might rely on politeness as a universally accepted mode of interaction.
Can politeness lead to kindness?
Polite behavior can set the foundation for kind actions, as both contribute to positive social interactions.
Are there any downsides to being too polite?
Excessive politeness might lead to ambiguity or lack of assertiveness, potentially obscuring one’s true feelings or needs.
Can kindness change someone’s day?
Absolutely, a simple act of kindness can significantly impact someone's mood and outlook.
How can businesses show kindness to their customers?
By going beyond basic courtesies to genuinely address and prioritize customer needs and concerns.
What role does empathy play in kindness?
Empathy is the foundation of kindness, enabling individuals to understand and share the feelings of others, motivating compassionate actions.
Do people value politeness or kindness more in relationships?
Kindness is often more valued in close relationships for its depth and sincerity, though politeness can also play a role in showing respect.
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Written by
Tayyaba RehmanTayyaba Rehman is a distinguished writer, currently serving as a primary contributor to askdifference.com. As a researcher in semantics and etymology, Tayyaba's passion for the complexity of languages and their distinctions has found a perfect home on the platform. Tayyaba delves into the intricacies of language, distinguishing between commonly confused words and phrases, thereby providing clarity for readers worldwide.
Co-written by
Maham Liaqat
